it`s hard to ignore and forget the past

comment on the other eljay if u wana

Mon, 07 Feb 2005 01:22:11 GMT

i stole this from martina

If you read this, even if i don't speak to you often, you must post a memory of me.

It can be anything you want, it can be good or bad, just so long as it happened.

Then post this to your journal. See what people remember about you....

new eljay

Sat, 05 Feb 2005 02:46:52 GMT

got a new eljay but_you_promised comment ill add u, dont comment...well i really dont care.

people are really idiots.

Fri, 04 Feb 2005 00:47:42 GMT

jessica u slut. i mean really cant you come up with something better than sending me an email virus? u really are stupid. oh and btw ur braces look like shit. (no offense to n e one else wit braces but hers really do look like shit.) shes got a problem with fighting her own goddamn battles so she has her loser friends try and do it 4 her. id love to see her try to do something to me herself i knock the fuck outta her and she knows it. but watever i wana get a camera and take pics 4 this yearbook thing that were doin cuz we got sum really cool pics today haha i fell on my face cuz ALEX let me fall...nice one lover. n e ways im gona go try to find drop it like its hot as my ringtone. xo bye

people...

Sun, 30 Jan 2005 04:37:52 GMT

u know it can get so confusing sometimes. u think people will stick to wut they say but of course theres the ones who l.o.v.e conflict and seeing people fight. there the ones who are the total hypocrites to. not naming n e body but theres a few...its just lyk...its really hard to find people who when they say something they actually stick to it. but w/e if they wana be called hypocrites and liars 4 the rest of there lives...thats them.

bored and sick of this

Tue, 25 Jan 2005 23:30:35 GMT

k so today is s.s i used david as my legrest cuz i felt lyk it...and my leg was tired. its so hard to find out who he lyks cuz u want read his eyes or his face when he says something. so so challenging. i walked into alexs class and i couldnt really look at him cuz i was talking to mr fleisher. then after i left i walked past lyk 4 times cuz i wanted to go back in. i lyk that song its lyk im in to deep and im trying to keep blah blah i dont know the words...im goin back to hollister cuz my moms a freak and she fell in love with the store shes all OMG i want a hoodie! so were going back. wooo. theres lyk random people who look at my profile...not that a care random people are my thing...even tho i hate some random people so bad its sick...i juss wana know who they are. we learned about the revolutionary war! sexiii. mr p wanted to know how i can fit all that writing on one hand it was a nice moment. i want a tattoo lyk its butterfly wings but nicer and its purple green nd black...looks better than it sounds. corys...being cory im not even gona say anything. i wrote a lot yesterday sry about that i couldnt take it. so i had to just write and write until i got sick of myself. today was a totally off day it sucked major ass...yea. i love my alex and his hair. mine. mine. mine. well i got root beer out of the bar so im gona go see if that helps my mood...bubbles and fizzy things help everthing.

shes a stupid whore!

Tue, 25 Jan 2005 02:21:11 GMT

who the fuck does jessica think she is? this whole thiing is lyk whoa cuz 4 real all she is is a backstabbing 2 faced ugly slut bag whore. and the sad part is i dont think she knows it. its always about her and she isnt that important n e ways. god i think this whole thing is so sick. pathetic is more lyk it. does she really think itll work? if she does then shes dumber than i thought and thats scary. these are the reason people hate her. she cant even hang out with her old friends n e more cuz they all want her gone. maeghen i dont know how u put up with her sometimes but i give u MAJOR credit. im counting the days until she gets her braces. shes all yea im gona go through a nerdy thing then im gona get popular (fuck that shit shes always gona be a loser) and then its lyk 1st she "pretends" to be shobha and karas friend (which shows that shes fake) and then she tries to get them mad at eachother and that didnt work either. shobhas rite she just wants them to not be friends cuz then she thinks shell get one of them to be her friend. watever shes a whore. and so is david he can go fuck himself. hes all y are u always fighting and i didnt even start this but he goes and blames it on me n e way cuz hes a dick. watever even shirley thinks hes the biggest asshole there is. well no shit he hangs out with zach wut to u expect. personally i dont lyk n e of them there all hypocrites and physcotics. watever i dont even know y i bother with these people or ever did there losers. urghh i just lyk get myself into stupid drama without even knowing it.the only good thing about going to school is Alex. and shirley so that makes 2 but alex is lyk...makes the day good. well heres something that made me laugh:

UFGuy04: u know u missed me
involve pretzels: YES!
involve pretzels: my matts back
UFGuy04: just 4 u
involve pretzels: say something incredible beautiful and random 4 my profile
UFGuy04: uh..so much pressure!
UFGuy04: just keep listening to what i type
UFGuy04: youll get one eventually
involve pretzels: lol ok
UFGuy04: sometimes i wish i was a woman, not for the pmsing, rapes or any of that, but i could stare at myself naked in the mirror and "pleasure myself"
UFGuy04: is that good or not
involve pretzels: matt that was the most beautiful thing ive ever heard in all of my 13 yrs.
UFGuy04: o yeah its a keeper
involve pretzels: lol foSHO!
UFGuy04: yeah yeah u know it
involve pretzels: lol!
UFGuy04: maybe alex will want to accompany us while i wear reffing clothes and count boobs
UFGuy04: i think its a kind gesture
involve pretzels: lol yess sure y not
UFGuy04: k i lied hes not cool enough to see my reffing outfit
involve pretzels: lol! jeesus matt ur so exclusive!
UFGuy04: only vips see this sexiii thing
UFGuy04: does ur live journal have anything juicy in it
involve pretzels: hmm its about to
UFGuy04: k well keep me posted
UFGuy04: ill wait to read it
involve pretzels: kk matt ull be the first to know
UFGuy04: awesome
UFGuy04: i bet theres a really long wait list too
involve pretzels: ur so vip list and waiting arent in ur vocab
UFGuy04: your so hot, condom is mandatory in your vocab
UFGuy04: ooooo
involve pretzels: lol! SEXIII
involve pretzels: wow matt ur beating me so hard
UFGuy04: harder than my pen15
UFGuy04: ooooooo
involve pretzels: omg matt your comebacks are giving me an erection!
UFGuy04: well u give me an erection without any comments so it goes both ways
involve pretzels: lol matt i feel so loved!
involve pretzels: this is defintely going in my eljay biotch
UFGuy04: o crud...alex will beat me up!
involve pretzels: no no
involve pretzels: ur matt your tender
UFGuy04: screw him....lets fuck!
UFGuy04: (not censored)
involve pretzels: lol well hed have to join us and u know it! we can throw tina in there to cuz she lyks it lyk that
UFGuy04: can u say tag team match
involve pretzels: TAG TEAM MATCH MOTHERFUCKER!

chillin wit muh 0re0

Sat, 22 Jan 2005 03:34:22 GMT

lol im at nisas its fun she fell off her bed...got stuck once...then knocked me off of it but im still living! i toook a pic of us with my fone nd lyk my eyes look lyk ugly black fat things. i looked more chinese than ever even tho im asian nd cuz nisas my oreo sister shes a damn asian to! were renting umm i duno but napolian dynamite one of them. haha i got the rejection hotline number so im gona give it to tina. yes tina im giving u the rejecting hotline number u beat me and im TENDER! lol hold on read this love this im gona go get movies with nisa

"Daughters"

I know a girl
She puts the color inside of my world
But she's just like a maze
Where all of the walls all continually change
And I've done all I can
To stand on her steps with my heart in my hands
Now I'm starting to see
Maybe it's got nothing to do with me

Fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

Oh, you see that skin?
It's the same she's been standing in
Since the day she saw him walking away
Now she's left
Cleaning up the mess he made

So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

Boys, you can break
You'll find out how much they can take
Boys will be strong
And boys soldier on
But boys would be gone without the warmth from
A womans good, good heart

On behalf of every man
Looking out for every girl
You are the god and the weight of her world

So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

braces!

Thu, 20 Jan 2005 23:13:03 GMT

guess who gets there braces in 12 days!? JESSICA that whore! heh...im starting a countdown for it cuz im so waiting its gona be...fun. well 4 me at least. so besides that shes a asshole and she told maeghen who told shobha and kara who told me that jessicas just being there friend cuz she wants to use them cuz she thinks that if there her friends then we will be to and she wants a few friends so she can be popular. i fucking hate that word its...gahk. n e way omg today shobha pantsed (whocares if i spelt that wrong) Kara and didnt mean to but pulled down her underwear n e way. it was lyk whoa and dylon saw her ass so now karas pissed off at shobha. so theres a break in the force. and i wana kick jessicas ass. haha tinas my huggable lover! is it wrong that i hate random chicks? i need opinions but either way im still gona hate them. which is probably the whole thing about how do u make friends. i just do this is different. i still hate them.

is today was fun

Wed, 19 Jan 2005 01:56:56 GMT

haha IS was awesome it was lyk non stop annoy ms doof. i think we made her arm fat angry to. she had laurel going everywhere nd im thinking...laurels not her bitch...but watever chad kept the day fun. get home nd its lyk back to being blah i have no clue wut my damage is but i hope i just find out soon. its annoying cuz lyk 4 a bit im lyk yea ok random shit just flys out of my mouth...then im pissed off...then im just lyk...gahk. that explains my mood. its stupid nd so am i i wana lyk diasppear 4 a while just to see.

blah

Sun, 16 Jan 2005 20:19:51 GMT

its not sunny out and thats kinda depressing to wake up to cuz i wanted to go outside...n e way i so ehh i mean is it wrong that i dont lyk random ppl...not the ones ive talked to but the ones that i hear about from sumone else. i duno its weird i dont like them when i hear about them and it gradually becomes i hate them...i duno watever. if i ever saw a giraffe do what my icon is doing id piss myself...im just talking about random nothings because im hungry and to lazy to get up...

im making weeny happy

Sun, 09 Jan 2005 04:33:19 GMT

i had to update cuz if i didnt it would make colleen sad nd thats like a major no no! lol so im like bored with lyf nd im gona go to dance classes with alyssa my mom says i need sumthin to do besides sit my lazy ass at home...eating, sleeping, watching the OC over nd over...n e ways urghh today we went to the swap shop i know so cool nd i got a cover nd blinkie thingy 4 muh phone but i couldnt find sunglasses so i was pissed. came home watched movies nd ate nd i was like annoyed since thursday so im like ehhhkkk. i must watch garden state again...later.

...

Mon, 03 Jan 2005 02:33:41 GMT

| just dOnt car3 anymOre. . .i really dont im done forget everything. anything ive dont in the past or lately and n e thing ive gotten myself into i want out.

ill put a spell on u...ull fall asleep

Mon, 03 Jan 2005 02:28:40 GMT

well not really but its from my new obesssion strange and beautiful from the oc soundtrack. im like...not talking really and i duno. everythings like whoaaa over my head and normally this may seem odd but im down to earth and not completely lost. yea it suprised me to. and i cant just sit down and figure it out. its like i have to think a lot which sux. and i sleep wen things get sucky and ive slept a lot lately and i really dont know y n e thing its going on...ya...

my love song!

I've been watching your world from afar,
I've been trying to be where you are,
And I've been secretly falling apart,
I'll see.
To me, you're strange and you're beautiful,
You'd be so perfect with me but you just can't see,
You turn every head but you don't see me.

I'll put a spell on you,
You'll fall asleep and I'll put a spell on you.
And when I wake you,
I'll be the first thing you see, lyricstop
And you'll realise that you love me.

Yeah...
Yeah...

Sometimes, the last thing you want comes in first,
Sometimes, the frist thing you want never comes,
And I know, the waiting is all you can do,
Sometimes...

I'll put a spell on you,
You'll fall asleep,
I'll put a spell on you,
And when I wake you,
I'll be the first thing you see,
And you'll realise that you love me.

I'll put a spell on you,
You'll fall asleep 'cos I'll put a spell on you,
And when I wake you,
I'll be the first thing you see,
And you'll realise that you love me, yeah...

yeah...
yeah...
yeah...
yeah...

watever

Mon, 03 Jan 2005 00:07:48 GMT

Instructions:
1. Copy this whole list into your journal.
2. Bold the things that you have in common with me.
3. Whatever you don't bold, replace with things about you.
1. I am very emotional, and i find its better wen nobody else knows that.                             2. Some people can make me smile from just being in the same room as me
3. I love starbucks
4. I love deep conversations with myself and people ive met online...they cant tell n e one.
5. I i dont care about much im guessing thats a bad thing
6. I've fallen in love with random things and objects like shirley                                            7. If I really like a song, I listen to it over and over until I know the words.
8. I used to talk to myself (i still do.)
9. It's hard for me to believe u can trust anyone.                                                                10. I hate nasty teeth
11. Listening to certain songs makes me sad.
12. I dance in my bedroom
13. I sleep when things get depressing so i sleep a lot
14. I love my mom
15. I love the beach and want to live there
16. I hate guys who are in awe of themselves.
17. I love suprises
18. I cry wen theres no reason to                                                                                      19. I hate me legs and wen our toy soldier ornaments break it makes me sad...
20. When im listening to music and walking down the street i sing to it sumtimes
21. I tend to get stupid alot
22. I hate men who bitch like little girls (there are so many)
23. I hate when the rain makes the inside of my shoes wet my toes get wrinkled
24. I can be kinda obsessive about some things
25. I'm scared of roaches.
26. I like tight hugs and when people smile just at you being there
27. I like it when people are happy because they make you happy
28. My hair is always crappy
29. I like sharing a moment of happiness with someone over apparently nothing
30. I hate it when you don’t understand someone or wen they wont let u.
31. Summer is the best season tanning it my lover.
32. I hate when people think they can judge you (before they look in the mirror and judge themselves.
33. I love the smell of matches
34. I don't know what petrol is
35. I love nicknames for other people
36. I kinda like the show Laguna Beach
37. I would die without my cds
38. I like the photos you get in booths
39. I'm trying to cut back on cursing .. even tho its not working too well
40. I hate when people think they are too good to say Hi or even acknowledge your existence, wen really ur to good 4 them.
41. sumtimes i wish i was shy
42. I hate change especially wen people wont admit theyve changed for the worse.
43. It pisses me off when people make stuff up to appear more tortured or wen they are all oo im so depressed im going to kill myself...those people arent depressed. there deprived of the well needed medical attention they so bluntly deserve. and there incredibly stupid posers.
44. I wish I wasn’t so lazy
45. I wish I still talked to some people
46. When I look back on most of the things I’ve done I learn from my mistakes most of the time
47. I wish i was better at shuting up wen i need to.
48. I always start giggling out of no where when i remember things that have happened in the pasyt
49. I wish I was sumone else msot of the time
50. I like when i have scars (not on my legs)...there sumthing to remember things by.
51. I wish I had more pictures
52. I miss being a kid
53. There are some moments I wish I could have back
54. I hate when you jus wanna stay with someone forever nd then they leave then realize they still love u and its hard because u dont love them anymore.
55. I make no sense a lot of the time
56. I am too tall
57. I love music
58. I'm happy that i say wuts on my mind. even tho sumtimes its obnoxious.
59. I hate people who agree with you to "impress" you
60. I wish i had a unicorn.
61. Sometimes I keep feelings bottled up for sake of others (even tho it sumtimes backfires.)
62. I often say I hate things people do then sumtimes do them and i dont know it.
63. I wish too much
64. I love hanakah .. even tho i celebrate Christmas
65. I hate when the things you want the most you cant have
66. I hate socks with no elsastic
67. Whenever I listen to chicago is so 2 yrs ago by fall out boy i think of the beach.
68. I don’t like it when people dont have enough dignity to say wut they wana say 2 ur face.
69. I have a naturally big mouth.
70. I wish people would grow up
71. This year has brought about a lot of growth when it comes to dating
72. I like talking online..but only to certain people
73. I hate people who complain about how i run my life (its not theres not is it?)
74. I like the feeling of knowing someone thinks I look really good
75. I'm perfectly happy sitting doing nothing for hours at a time if im hanging out w/ anyone cool
76. I love going to hotels and seeing hott guys from all over
77. I hate when people try to joke around but take it too far.
78. I love Fall Out Boy
79. I always wanted to swing off a tire swing into a clear lake
80. I love saying u sound smarter wen u dont talk to sumone.

10 37 nd counting

Sat, 01 Jan 2005 03:48:42 GMT

i realii cant wait until the new year. new things to do nd its like i cant start over...sorta but still i can actually stick to some of the things i wana do. like not be friends with ppl who are assholes.crystal. n e ways boomers was fun i killed things. my mom almost killed david but that was expected. no go karts cuz it rained but after that i chilled at alexs house 4 a while nd slipped wen walking around his pool cuz its empty so i looked like a retard. nothing out of the ordinary...so n e way food time nd weve got liquor so i feel like gettin drunk...later...

These are your good years
don't take my advice
you never wanted the nice boys anyway
and I'm of good cheer
cause I've been checking my list
the gifts you're receiving from me
will be

one awkward silence
and two hopes you cry yourself to sleep
staying up, waiting by the phone
and all I want this year is for you to dedicate your last
breathe to me
before you bury yourself alive

don't come home for Christmas
you're the last thing I wanna see
underneath the tree
merry Christmas, I could care less

happy new years baby
you owe me
the best gift I will ever ask for
don't call me up, when the snow comes down
its the only thing I want this year

one awkward silence
and two hopes you cry yourself to sleep
staying up, waiting by the phone
all I want this year is for you to dedicate your last breathe to
me
before you bury yourself alive

don't come home for Christmas
you're the last thing I wanna see
underneath the tree
merry Christmas, I could care less

don't come home for Christmas
you're the last thing I wanna see
underneath the tree (don't come home for Christmas)
merry Christmas, I could care less

don't come home for Christmas
you're the last thing I wanna see
underneath the tree (don't come home for Christmas)
merry Christmas, I could care less

its new years eve

Fri, 31 Dec 2004 06:43:58 GMT

today is boomers! like whoa so baller! haha...yea...well cecilia cant go nd thats depressing cuz davids gona be there nd she wont...but alex is goin so thats like a major wave of hottness rioght there. he still wont believe ima tru asian gangsta but watever...hater. my cousins are here nd i already got hit w/ a bottle in my face which wasnt as funny as it sounded. i hit one of those like depressed things at a random moment today it was weird i hated it. theres like nothing wrong w/ me...ok thats a lie but like theres nothing horrible going on for the moment. yea it suprised me to. so i duno y it happened. urghh im lonely i hate being lonely. but its that stupid shit like...i could be in a room full of crowded ppl but im lonely. watever its stupid. i wana kick sumones ass on the go karts at boomers! i saw wanado city nd its pimped out like whoa! amazing...im hungry...

still inside

Tue, 28 Dec 2004 19:35:53 GMT

ive been in this house 4 5days nd im done. i wana go to subway ur something but i cant cuz im sick. so basically this part of winter break blows. but n e way...me nd shelley are...ok i guess i duno wut u call it. i stopped caring n e way. it pissed me off yesterday that she pull the shit she did then shes all umm i have a question. then asks if she can use my poolhouse 4 her bday party cuz it would be perfect 4 all the people who are coming. nd im like...ok ur asking me this...am i even invited. then she said...i duno i have to think about it. shes a bitch. she was the one who was saying all this bullshit to alex then told me she didnt do n e thing wrong nd hes just a bf it means nothing. i really dont need friends like that even if ive known them 4 8yrs...friends dont do that. i just cant believe she had the nerve to say i duno i have to think about it. then think shes gona use my poolhouse.

sum friend i have...

Mon, 27 Dec 2004 04:49:17 GMT

u know u think that best friends are forever. u couldnt get more off than that. i thought i could trust my best friend of 8yrs w/ anything. even my life if i had to but i guess this is the kind of friend she is. she said she was mad thats y she did it but i wouldnt do it to n e one not even zach even if i was completely pissed.

MySteryStar4822: tal to ur gurl cause she got major issues and she is kinda selfich
TheNehaw09: wut happend
MySteryStar4822: lets jus say
MySteryStar4822: she is not a good friend
TheNehaw09: harsh
MySteryStar4822: and doesn't care that much bout u
TheNehaw09: how do u know
MySteryStar4822: from wat i heard
TheNehaw09: who said that
TheNehaw09: were
TheNehaw09: wen
MySteryStar4822: i was wit her from thur
TheNehaw09: she said she dont like me?
MySteryStar4822: no she like u
TheNehaw09: fuk man
TheNehaw09: everyone turns on me
MySteryStar4822: but if someone finer came along she would dumb u in a min
TheNehaw09: thats fucking great
MySteryStar4822: i thought u should kno
MySteryStar4822: u are her boytoy
MySteryStar4822: lol
TheNehaw09: its not funny to me
MySteryStar4822: ight well she is not good wit realshinship ask david
TheNehaw09: fuck david that pussy assed bitch
MySteryStar4822: once she is done wit u it's like paper she throws it out and gets more
MySteryStar4822: bf and gf
MySteryStar4822: she told me today bout this boi in high school who is fine and how she will go out wit him if she wanted to and if he asked her out
TheNehaw09: omfg
MySteryStar4822: she don care
MySteryStar4822: goes to ur sckool
TheNehaw09: i hate my life
MySteryStar4822: don
MySteryStar4822: tell her
MySteryStar4822: don't
TheNehaw09: im gonna tell her
TheNehaw09: u shouldnt have said ne thing
MySteryStar4822: no
MySteryStar4822: don't
TheNehaw09: i fucking pissed!!! how do u expect me to keep it to myself
MySteryStar4822: jus don't
MySteryStar4822: pleaz
TheNehaw09: im sry but i have to
MySteryStar4822: jus say that u heard some shit from
MySteryStar4822: sckool
MySteryStar4822: not me]
TheNehaw09: ummm
TheNehaw09: 2 late
TheNehaw09: sry i said ur said sumtin befor u told me not 2
MySteryStar4822: y
MySteryStar4822: look i
MySteryStar4822: 'm pisst at her so don cause she really like u
MySteryStar4822: don ay much
TheNehaw09: she said wen ppl are mad the truth comes out
TheNehaw09: its true i guess
MySteryStar4822: it's prob not
MySteryStar4822: it's jus how i heard it
MySteryStar4822: i'm slow
MySteryStar4822: so don say much to her
MySteryStar4822: cause she really like u
MySteryStar4822: ight???
TheNehaw09: how do i know
TheNehaw09: maybe u just dont want me to say ne thing
MySteryStar4822: cause i'm tellin u
MySteryStar4822: na
MySteryStar4822: dude it's fo real wat i'm sayin she does really lov ya
TheNehaw09: i fukin love her but if wut u said is true then idk

nd this is supposed to be sumone that i completely trust. she said she didnt do n e thing wrong nd that hes just a bf it means nothing. well it means something to me...this is just another one of those things where i stop trusting everyone. tru friends dont do that to eachother...no matter wut...

merry christmas...yea watever.

Sat, 25 Dec 2004 08:38:11 GMT

u know maybe its me..corse its me wut the fuck am i talking about?* but i always get depressed around this time. always since like 4th grade. the reasons totally stupid and semi embarrassing but its cuz of my grandmas bday is christmas and she died so...ya. really stupid to say...n e way. theres so much goin on nd i dont even wana go back to school cuz its not even worth it n e more. fuck all of them. and of corse jessicas pulling the dumbest shit ive ever seen in my life nd i laugh about it cuz i think she thought it would work. she sits there and is all ya i hate jordan shes a fucking bitch nd shit. then she gets mad at maeghen cuz maeghen was talking to me and she has this book we write in to kinda keep up and jessica used this color ur watever nd said thats her color nobody else can use it. so mae told me nd naturally...i used it cuz if ur reading this then u know how i am. conflict is my soulmate especially wen they deserve it. nd it was soooo fuckin stupid. now she wants to be my friend. in the morning *and this is all on friday* i was walking nd i stopped to talk to sumone i 4got nd then i was walking away and she said "hi jordan." nd i didnt know who said it so i turn around nd it was her so i kept walking. then in feiners class i was talkin to shirley askin where mae nd elisabeth were nd if there comin to school nd jessica goes nd answers to me like i was talkin to her nd i juss kept lookin nd listenin to wut shirley was sayin i didnt look at jessica at all then i left. nd my fav. was at lunch. she came up to ask shirley somethin nd i was eatin nd talkin to zach w. *im makin el food basketo this week yo!* nd she asked where sam was nd shirley said she didnt know ur somethin nd then she started wavin nd sayin hi. i said hi then went back to eating. i didnt do n e of this ina mean way cuz thatd be ruude. but she told shirley that she wants to be my friend but i "obviously* dont want it. im sorry but no not really. i dont like 2faced ppl like that. wen i have a problem w/ sumone they know it nd we fight then we talk then were friends. i dont juss change my mind a day later. nd besides i wouldnt know if she was muh friend 4 real n e wayz cuz last tiime she wuz pretendin juss to be nice. i didnt even give her a ring. but wateva. then theres crystal. i hate that physcotic hefer 4 real. 1st she gets all pissy cuz davids goin out w/ cecilia nd im like if ur her real friend ud be happy nd i asked her wuts wrong to be nice nd cuz i wanted to see if i could help her out but nooo she got be a bitching fuckin hefer nd say i wouldnt undastand cuz i wuz happy 4 them. WAT THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT! then shes bitchy that whole day cuz of it and then she sends cecilia n email sayin that...ooo hold up i still have it here. there it is

youve hurt me many times before so i dont really care anymore!! but just so you no when your "old best
friends" ever turn on you and you loose david you wont have your true
close friend who loved you because of wut you did. youll have jordan.
whoopdido. its not so good cause she will evenually turn on you tooo.
THINK ABOUT IT. then call me. we need to talk.

wut kind of fuckin bullshit it that! i didnt turn on her. i got tired of her annoying nonstop talking about ooo david this david that blah blah blah blah. i dont give a fuck. nd u know i duno y i put up w/ it i i semi felt sorry 4 her cuz i knew that david didnt like her nd the fact that i had nothing else to do. nd before she was all o this person hates me nd that person hates me. im like wtf!? why? and all she could say was i duno. shes a rumor spreading bitch nd everyone says it so it must be tru. nd i NEVER turn on cecilia cuz i like her nd im happy 4 her nd david like crystal should be. but u know personally i think crystals pissed off cuz david wanted cecilia and not her. probably cuz david onli likes preety chicks. as 4 the rest of my holidays juss forget it theres to much to even explain im stuck at home 4 the next 2 weeks nd im screwed i juss know it. nd u know wut cecilia sent me n email saying that she was happy that i told crystal off nd that she said she hopes i wasnt mad cuz she told her sorry after she yelled at her nd made her cry. im not mad nooo never sumtimes wen ppl tell others off they feel bad. thats her nd im not gona hold it against her. last nite i was crying and shelley was over nd i really cuz wanted to be left alone. i havent cried ina long time. so it was like weird. plus all she did was look in my yearbook. then we fought. ate. ate summore. slept. im gona go think so...bye...

im crushed

Tue, 21 Dec 2004 00:14:30 GMT

over this past weekend ive fallen in and out of love. with a hermit krab named Murphy. he was my soulmate and he was beautiful. no matter wut u say. words can bring him down nooo nooo. but i had to leave him in an overpopulate hermit tank at Earthbound at the dolphin mall but im sure fate will bring us together. n e way ive been non stop eating 4 the past like 2 days its like i can feel my ass growing out of control. tinas concerned about murphy and thank u tina 4 that i need sumone who understands muh lovin 4 hermit krabs

dolphin tomora

Sat, 18 Dec 2004 02:48:57 GMT

yea so im goin to the dolphin mall tomorrow w/ alex maybe, schan, and my mom and her friends...yes my mom has friends i know shocked me 2. n e way god im hungry like 4 real its killiin me. no drama this week cept 4 the strange thing of cecilia hanging out w/ zach non stop and semi ignoring emilie everythings good...i hope.

lost still lost and i have a fucking science project!

Wed, 15 Dec 2004 03:05:32 GMT

seriously...everythings like whoa. i know ive said it before but that was me not paying attention this is 4 real. most things im like ok lemme think about it and i find something. but like everything else im completely confused about. the ppl i hang out w/...out of the group were the biggest bitches, backstabbers, and liars. so it sux when we get 2gether and decide to shit talk sumone cuz theyll never hear the end of it. and then theres me never knowning wut i want...honestly this is like a huge problem and it doesent end at wut to wear in the morning. and u know that feeling where u like are thinking about something trying to figure it out but nothing comes into ur head. not even an idea as to where ur getting. im like that w/ most of the important things...like whether or not im happy and if i should hang out w/ the ppl i think im hanging out w/ and then its like i end up miserable cuz im stupid and i cant think. ughh...watever...

im full...

Tue, 14 Dec 2004 03:25:25 GMT

literally. i had one of those double bacon cheese burgers im getting like so completely fat im gona be rolling instead of walking. ok not really but i did have the burger. urghhh things are as confusing as ever of corse cuz im me. u just cant win 4 real. me and alex (deans friend) decided were going to the mall and geting boxers w/ to hot to handle on one (that ones 4 me) and the others gona say give me a towel im wet (cuz alex finds that amazingly funny) blah im tired and i like my new el jay layout is like...funn to watch i guess...x0 later.

tell me this is so nice

Mon, 13 Dec 2004 23:24:23 GMT

TheNehaw09 [10:59 PM]: iv told u fuking everything cause u ask and ask and aks and it gets so fucking annoying i tell u just cause im either annoyed or pissed

when ppl are mad normally the truth comes out. thanx.

at alexs hizzouse

Sun, 12 Dec 2004 00:47:57 GMT

yea ok so i cant work the izz like andrea can but u know...i try i try. so n e way hes playing san andreas and i was lookin through his compo. nothin good no porn. just a pic of jess which btw looks awesome. ha i get to kill hookers so bye.